i was taught by my parents that the only way to talk to god

was through praying five times a day

in each pray, i should ask for my parents salvation first, then

ask forgiveness for them, and for me and for all others beings, then

i could ask for a help, any kind of help, which

might be given to me if i meant it and gave real effort to it.

and my teachers would tell us stories on how we have been blessed

to have this certain belief and that god would grant us heaven

if we do everything he says, and don’t do everything he forbids

which got me to question,

is god a very demanding being?

is god a very complicated being?

is god a very selfish being that we have to do all he says without even thinking twice?

what about our own thinking which he himself has created?

would it even be possible to think about it without him giving us access to it?

and does god really exist?

i asked, and doubted, and asked, and doubted

few hundred times, and it kept on going.

until i decided to believe in my own way,

that god is gentle, as gentle as our heart, because

god resided in the simplest yet purest place; a heart, a mountain, a flower

god does not create religion, he simply create minds

yet does not control it. or judge it. or mistaken it.

we humans are such strange creatures that we have to give label

to something, even to god, to make it exists, to make it real

to make it reachable.

we have to give it name, we have to give it definition, we have to give it reasons.

and we make more separation for ourselves, more complications, more rules.

don’t you listen to the sky begging us to stop all this?

don’t you listen to the ocean begging us to start seeing?

god is here,

inside each of us, trying to reach each other hand

so we again remember how whole we are, how gentle

and start to fill the rapture with the compassion

we have long forgotten.

 

R.